As some of you may know, in May 2004, my dad lost his job at the hospital after almost 29.5 years, 26 of those years as a supervisor of the Biomedical Department. After the initial shock, he decided to take the summer off and get his bearings straight. After summer, came hunting season, so he didn�t start looking for a job until December of that year. There wasn�t much out there in the job market, but he kept checking the papers and internet. I can�t tell you how many resumes he sent out or applications he filled out, and from those, he�s had maybe 5-7 interviews. There�s not many places that wants to hire a 57 year old man. Obviously they won�t tell you that�s why you�re not getting the job. But how can you tell me that you�ve hired someone with more experience than 26 years? I�m sure it�s happened before, but not in the job market where we live.
You can imagine that dad�s attitude has slowly deteriorated over that last year and a half. He�s not so bad in the morning, but once he starts drinking in the afternoon, it�s down hill from there. My dad is big on family traditions too. When he was growing up, they celebrated everything, birthdays, anniversaries, and the normal holidays. For the longest time, on the Sunday before the big event, the family would gather for dinner and togetherness. Now, I don�t generally have a problem with this, it�s a great way to see family you don�t see on a regular basis. But over the years, with the grandparents passing on, and becoming more estranged from my dads side of the family, it just wasn�t a big deal like it used to.
On Saturday, mom and I stopped at Bro�s house to see what was going on, and mom mentioned having a roast for dinner yesterday. Bro�s comment was, �I don�t know� and SIL said that he has a lot of things to get done before the baby comes in January. Apparently they didn�t� get the meaning of the conversation, because the didn�t show up yesterday for dinner. Which broke my mothers heart. Take two hours out of your busy fucking schedule to come and see your mom, is that to much to ask? Well at dinner, dad asked were Bro was at. Mom made the comment that she obviously didn�t write it on the wall big enough, and they didn�t get it when it was mentioned Saturday. Dad normally starts his afternoon drinking around 2, and this conversation was had around 5:30, so he was pretty well buzzed when it was mentioned. You could tell he was pissed and annoyed that they didn�t come over. Mom said it wasn�t a big deal, they didn�t miss her birthday, the just missed a good meal. Well that wasn�t good enough for him. You could tell that he was stewing about it. She told him that it wasn�t a big deal, and she didn�t need him starting anything. Which he will. My dad NEVER forgets a slight, and he WILL let you know about it eventually.
My Bro and father have had a very tumultuous relationship, which I won�t get into right now, save that for another time. But once Baby Girl was in the picture, things improved. But what really bothers me, is how my parents are treated like second class citizens by Bro and SIL. Mom and I both know, that if SIL�s family had something going, they would be there. Bro�s side, �Meh, we�ve got things to do.� My cousin mentioned to me once, that when a son gets married and has children, the wife is the one who decided what goes on in regards to family functions. It�s true, at least with my relations. SIL made the comment on Saturday that when she has the baby, Baby Girl will be spending a few nights at her parents house. What is wrong with my parents? They love her just as much anyone else does, probably more so, since BG and Newbie are going to be the only grandchildren my parents have.
I feel guilty for not giving my parents the opportunity to be the kind of grandparents I had. I feel guilty for not spending more time with my parents, and my mother having to deal with my dad alone. I�m angry at my Bro for letting SIL get away with her treatment of my family. I�ve tried to talk to Bro about this before, and he denies the treatment. Sure, I could mention it to SIL, but I fear if I do, we wouldn�t see Baby Girl anymore. And that is something that I can�t risk for mom and dad�s sake.
This is just a snapshot�
